(To The New Christian)
There is no death!
What seems so is transition;
Well, well now, the glorious day has arrived. Our Father has opened your eyes and you're filled with Jesus - the most fantastic person you've ever found. (Although, He actually found you.) Neat, isn't He?
When I was first saved, I didn't give a hoot about the rest of the world. All I wanted was more insight into all this neat stuff Jesus was saying to me. My wife on the other hand, was going through hell and I had no idea what was wrong with her. I was finally a Christian and she was very upset.
Later, I found out that a lot of divorces happen during this period of time; therefore, as a man who was saved late in life, I'd like to explain a few things to help you through this.
First, God does all the saving; but, your wife had to give up a lot of herself also in the process. Life is like a balance - something must be given up to acquire new life. Your wife has been doing the giving up because she loves you very much.
The first problem is that you died and now someone else, a stranger, is living in your body. You and I know it's still you but a lot has changed very fast and to your wife you are a stranger. You are not the same person she married: you are a new creation.
The second problem is that she still remembers a lot of painful things you did in the past when you were the bad guy. God has forgiven all those things and you're happy about it; but, what about your wife?
In Matthew 5:23,24 Jesus said to go and be reconciled with your brother (or wife); then, come offer your gifts to him. You need to ask the ones you've hurt to forgive you and assure them you will try to do better in the future. I could have eased my wife's pain a lot if I had done that right after I got saved.
The third problem is the scripture about your wife obeying you. Of course, it is correct and your wife has been trying to do just that. Nowhere does God tell us to order our wives about. He does tell us to love and care for them as though they were our own bodies. In other words, we are to love them into submission. If you do this, you will find yourself with a wife willing to follow you anywhere and worth more than gold. There are also some things (like in 1 Corinthians 7:5) that should be only by mutual consent.
Last, but not least, don't make any major changes in work or life unless your wife is in agreement. Later you will find this is a good test of what God's will is for you. If you do disagree, seek a good pastor to counsel with before a final decision is reached. Don't discount a good Christian marriage counselor if you or your wife feel you need one. Your wife knows how to find one: We already told her how.
There are many things a new convert should not do (such as entering the ministry) until a few years have passed and you've grown in the Lord more. You will find that God is never in as big a rush as you are. He will have you ready for the task before it needs to be done. The hardest thing is to learn to wait for your Father's leading. May God bless your marriage: it truly was made in heaven.